I don't know if you've read that book The 5 Love Languages or not but I thought it was great to take a look at how people give and receive love - whether that is romantic or plutonic or familial love. As with most things, in some respects I think I may have a split personality at times because I feel like I am a bit bilingual - or even trilingual - with my love languages.
I love little surprise gifts and it's more about the fact that someone was thinking of me that makes the gift special, not the expenditure of money. My niece #3 was out on a hike with her family a few years ago and saw some tiny yellow flowers - almost a carpet-type plant or moss - and decided she needed to pick them for me and bring them to me when she saw me next. While they only lasted a short time, for the record, I'm crying right now thinking about that sweet and thoughtful gift.
I also feel loved when people want to spend time with me. Perhaps that is one positive thing to come out of this pandemic is that we can all appreciate the act of someone making the effort to see your face in person.
But I also love to share words of encouragement with others. Many years ago, a scripture came to mind and I suddenly felt moved to share it with a friend. So I sent him a text with just the chapter and verse and later he said it was something he really needed to hear in that moment. So after that, I tried not to ignore my gut instincts.
And I have to tell you, in the last couple of weeks two individuals - who I honestly haven't known for long - have felt inspired to share words of encouragement with me out of the blue and their words meant so much. And the fact that they were so timely and relevant to current conversations in my mind make them so much more powerful.
The first one came during a meditation with the smell of a juniper smudge in the background (the giver was meditating and said I came to mind with this message):
You come to mind and just want to encourage you to keep going and doing what you're doing. You make a difference in the World.
And he then reminded me of the Thoughts and Feelings connection of the Model I use for coaching clients. :) Even coaches can get spun out in their own thought whirlwind and forget to use the tools. I'm very grateful for that reminder.
The other came first as a meme with the below words and continued with a heartfelt and vulnerable conversation through which I truly felt "seen".
Note to Self: You can't control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever personal s**t they are going through at the moment. Which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.
My encouragement to you all - whether your love language is Words of Affirmation or not - is not to put off those gut urges to say something nice or encouraging to someone. It can really mean a lot to them in that moment. I don't exactly know how it all works but our instincts are powerful forces. In the Christian world we call it The Holy Spirit moving within us. And yet I know many folks who are not Christian who would call it something else. Whatever you call it, don't let your thinking brain full of fear of embarrassment or shame to stop you from sharing positivity with those around you. There's never a wrong time to say something nice.
With love, friends.
P.S. The 5 Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. Check out this book by Gary Chapman and let me know what your language is.
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