In his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living - (c) 1948 - Dale Carnegie showcases Willis H. Carrier - the inventor of air conditioning and his three-step anti-worry process.
After suffering a dismal failure in his job installing a multi-million dollar gas-cleaning device (which at the time--probably 1900-1920 timeframe--was a HUGE amount of money), he was sick with worry. "I was stunned by my failure. It was almost as if someone had struck me a blow on the head. My stomach, my insides, began to twist and turn. For a while I was so worried I couldn't sleep."
But he soon realized that worry wasn't getting him anywhere so he took these three steps:
"Step 1: I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure....
Step 2: After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary....
Step 3: From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally."
After mentally accepting the worst that could happen, he then went to work to figure out how he could resolve his problem. He figured out that if they bought a $5,000 piece of equipment that they might not lose the $20,000 they were expected to lose from the failure (again - that was a HUGE sum of money for the time period it occurred). They moved forward with this idea and instead of losing $20,000 they MADE $15,000.
"I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all these vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem."
How does a story from the early 1900s affect me?
We still worry today. In fact, most of my clients request coaching because deep down they have worry about something.
They feel unappreciated at work and they have a job review coming up and they worry it won't go well.
They are making a career change and worry about drama that might occur when handing in a resignation.
They worry about joining the workforce for the first time in many years and not performing as well as they'd like.
They worry about their health so much that they get depressed and continue to make poor choices concerning their long-term health.
So how do we move beyond the worry? In the first example, I asked my client, "What's the worst that can happen in your performance review?" My client replied, "I find out that they don't value me at all and that I've been wasting my time." At that point I ask, "And so what if that happens? At least you know, right? At that point you will have your answer to whether they value you and you can then make a plan to find a company that DOES value you. Right now you're worrying about the unknown, but you've already established you can survive the worst that can happen and feel good about it. So why continue to worry?"
And it is a similar story in the other examples as well. We explore the worst thing that could happen and realize we can get through the worst. From there, we build a plan to overcome the worst that can happen and improve our circumstances.
One thing I want to add about accepting the worst mentally is that we don't accept it and then focus in on it and dwell on it in a negative way....that's right back to worrying about your problem in a new way. Accepting the worst that could happen as a potential outcome is all about realizing the positives even when the worst happens. Carrier accepted the fact that he could lose $20,000 and potentially his job for making a huge mistake--the worst that could happen--and then he tried to make up for it by owning his mistake and then finding a solution to try to make things better. By accepting the worst he was able to free his mind from worry and put it toward more constructive thoughts.
We can all apply these three brilliant steps from Willis H. Carrier starting today.
Instead of filling your life with worry, consider the worst as a possibility, mentally "be okay" with that possibility and then with your worry-free mind, take steps to make that possibility better.
As always, if you could use another set of eyes on your thoughts, don't hesitate to sign up for a 30-minute consultation on my Services page. Let's have a phone call and see if coaching is right for you. While you're at it, please take a second to sign up for my newsletter which will be launching this year. In it I will answer coaching questions that have been submitted and highlight blog posts from the page.
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