This is one of the breakthrough questions facing many of my clients.
Because in reality, we all have dreams,.....we just aren't really that committed to going after them. We want people to hand our dreams to us.
How do I know?
Because most of us haven't made any progress toward reaching our dreams and we keep beating ourselves up for not being rich and famous yet. And we love to beat on ourselves.
"That sounds harsh, Lacey. I certainly don't enjoy feeling worthless and giving myself guilt trips..." Then why do we keep doing it? If it feels so horrible to not have the life we dream about, why do we keep repeating patterns that don't move us out of our same old ruts?
Because our primitive brains love repetition and have developed some very deep ruts over time and it's just plain hard to get those wheels out of the ruts. Changing those patterns is exactly what we need to do to change our lives....and change is just an uncomfortable process. Change hurts. Even when it's good change, it just plain hurts.
Change involves us giving up comfortable patterns and exchanging them for uncomfortable new patterns that we have to build from scratch.
So again, what are you willing to give up in order to get started?
Apparently, in 2017, the average American watched almost 4 hours of TV every day. Is your dream worth giving up TV for? What can you accomplish in 4 hours?
And everyone's favorite: a regular ol' Starbuck's coffee costs $1.85 and an 8oz can of instant coffee grounds at Target costs $5.99 and will last ...longer than a day (I don't drink coffee so I don't know how long that will last! haha). Is your dream worth that difference?
If you didn't spend time on social media every day, what activities could you do instead to put you closer to achieving your dream?
The answer and follow through on these questions is so hard because the alternative involves work. And our primitive cave-man brains love the comfort of being vegetables and not rocking the boat.
In my own journey, I certainly haven't gone "cold turkey" on much. I've moved really slowly and had to do a lot of thinking and negotiating with the side of me that enjoyed comfort. It started years ago with a desire to watch less TV so I just didn't upgrade my TV when the U.S. switched to High Definition (and I wanted to see if my big-box TV could make it to the 20 year mark - and it did! A $220 TV bought in 1997 and retired in good condition in 2017.). Since going out on my own as an entrepreneur, I've had to really negotiate on just about every aspect of my life.
Taking time to grow my own food from seed or living second-to-second on fast food?
What can I live without in order to be able to afford the organic, grass-fed meats instead of regular? Same for the organic produce not out of my garden?
As I get older, and as health problems ensue, there are more supplements I'd like to take. Which of those can I grow on my own instead of paying $90/month for the various organic supplements?
Watching my DVDs or paying for Netflix?
Reading books or watching a screen?
Having social media on my phone or only on my laptop?
Making multiple trips into town and burning a ton of gas in my farm truck or experiencing some delayed gratification and waiting to hit all the stores in one trip on a pre-planned day?
Leaving earlier and taking the "free" roads or spending $3 round trip (or more) on the toll roads?
Can I allow my body to adjust to living in a warmer house - like 78 degrees - instead of 74 degrees?
How badly do I want my aquariums? Enough to pay for the fish food and electricity for the pumps to run 24/7?
There are a lot of us in COVID-19 days that are really feeling the tightening of our belts. How badly do I want to create my own future?
Badly enough to downsize and sell off my comfort possessions in order to pay bills during the tight times? Would I sleep in my car for a while if it meant I could live my dream life?
You betcha!
(*I haven't reached that point yet, but I'm willing to take that action should I get to that point.)
My dreams are worth a little temporary discomfort. And I'm finding that I can still have joy and be happy -- even when the bank account is running on fumes --because I'm living my vision. I'm creating that life I have dreamed about.
Honestly? I'm enjoying these difficult times because my brain is being forced into finding creative new ways to reach my goals. I'm being forced into taking big action.
I also just know that it will all be okay.
I work part-time at a Pioneer Farm museum for crying out loud. People have survived for millennia without air conditioning or without electricity. Can I survive if things get so bad that I can't pay my electric bill? You bet! Will it be easy? Probably not, but with a can-do attitude I can figure something out--it's not impossible. What if I run out of money for groceries? This is America and most of us have enough fat on our bodies to survive several days without eating with no problem at all (I know I do). And to boot, my friends just told me about the show Alone and how they could see me as a contestant and surviving in the wilderness for 100 days. My friends have confidence in my ability to stay alive in the woods so why should I worry or give up on my dreams because of a potential temporary setback?
Point is, I've asked myself to imagine the worst things that can happen and I've visualized myself surviving those situations and overcoming.
Am I willing to keep working at this dream life even when times get really tough?
You betcha!
Can I overcome any obstacles that come my way and keep moving toward my goals?
You betcha!
What comforts will I give up on this side of my goals in order to create the life I want to live?
Whatever it takes.
What are you truly willing to give up in order to live the life you want to live?
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