I just returned last night from a wonderful coaching certification workshop to become Master Coach Certified. I will probably share more details about that in the future but one of the greatest aspects of attending these types of events is that while you and your fellow coaches are learning to improve your skills, the instructors inevitably need volunteers on which to demonstrate the tools. So I raised my hand A LOT in order to get coached by an amazing master coach (quick plug for the excellent Michael Torres Jaimes!) and make continued progress toward my goals. Thank you, Michael!
But one weekend of coaching does not perfection make.
One of the obstacles I have in my personal and career growth is not valuing the commitments I make to myself in the same way I value commitments to other people. This quite often comes in the form of creating an amazingly well-planned calendar of to-do list items for the week. And let's be honest, it's really for several weeks out because my to-do list is soooo very long. But when the time comes to do the to-do I conveniently have at my fingertips a "more important" item that "really should be done sooner." At least that's what I tell myself with my best con-man persuasion skills. This new item is also conveniently much more exciting to do than the item I'm supposed to do. Funny how those exciting things always seem to pop up when it's time for me to, I don't know, fill out the forms my CPA is waiting for.
Those of you reading who knew me in my past career may have trouble believing this about me because I have always been on top of things. I even have trouble believing this about me. But one thing I know is that as soon as we think we know ourselves, something changes and we have to dig a little deeper to grow some more. Which brings me to the stampede of today.
This morning after returning from this very impactful weekend, I woke up and remembered that the feed store had been closed last night on my way home so I needed to get feed this morning. I also needed to go to the grocery store. Since today was my first Monday of the month planning day I didn't bother looking at my calendar because I knew I didn't have any client commitments (ding ding!). After running these errands, I finally got back to my computer and tried to re-orient myself. I looked at my calendar and saw that I was going to work on some business planning from 8:30-10:30 this morning and it was now 10:00 (ding ding!). I thought to myself, "well, I guess I can reschedule that one (ding ding!) and catch up on my weekend follow-up tasks until 11:30 when I am scheduled to write a blog post." Catching up on weekend follow-up managed to expand into I-don't-even-know-what-but-included-cooking-lunch (ding ding!) and suddenly it was 1:00. I had a personal coaching session scheduled for myself at 1:40 and decided to bring up this to-do list topic with the coach to get a second pair of eyes on my thoughts. So I added that to the Zoom appointment notes and suddenly it was 1:30 (ding ding!). The coaching session is in ten minutes and I have to log on early.
Are you getting the picture of how my to-do list is working for me today?
During the 20 minute coaching session we established my thought model as the following:
Circumstance: I made a commitment on my calendar.
My thoughts: What I have scheduled is not as exciting as what I could be doing (planning new programs, reaching out to my new friends from the weekend, going to the grocery and feed stores, etc.)
My feeling about that thought: Ugh. Or "boooorrrrinnnggg". Or just unexcited.
My actions from those thoughts and feelings: I'm not doing what I committed to myself to do at this time.
Results of those actions: That item just gets moved to another spot on down the line and is still not done.
After talking with the coach I was inspired and encouraged. She reminded me that I could schedule some time a couple days a week to work with all those "brand new important great ideas" that pop up and distract me from my commitments. "Just jot those ideas down off to the side, out of sight, and know that you have scheduled time to get to them later." Perfect! I can do that. I do that with blog post and program ideas all the time while I'm on the road, I can totally ALSO do it while I'm working. She also reminded me of a webinar I could rewatch to get some other good tips. All good stuff.
Going forward, my new thought about the commitments can be: I enjoy owning my own business which requires me to sometimes do less exciting tasks for the benefit of the greater good.
My feeling about that is productive. It makes me feel responsible and gives me a sense of freedom since I am a business owner.
My actions tomorrow if I keep this thought and feeling in mind should be to do those boring tasks. Knock 'em out, get 'em done! Rip off that bandaid!
The results from that: a reduced to-do list and a better grasp on my day and my business progress.
After the call ends, I look at the rest of my scheduled day. "Oh, easy peasy. I have those accounting forms to do for my CPA scheduled to start in about 45 minutes. Maybe what I'll do is just move that item to later in the day and instead watch that webinar on to-do lists to get all those great tips, then with that knowledge fresh in my brain I can sit down this evening and catch up on the business items and reschedule....(ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!!!)...." I started laughing out loud at myself. Here I was about to break another commitment to myself in the name of recommitting to honor my commitments! Feel free to laugh with me.
When I realized that, and wrote in my coaching notes the realization I had just made, complete with many "hahahahahahahahahaha"s, I decided to go ahead and honor that dad gum calendar item of filling out those dang forms for my CPA.
So where does the stampede come in?
Shortly after renewing my commitment to my commitments, I hear what sounds like a big package being dropped outside my front door. I decided to keep working and get the package later. I am renewed to my commitments, after all! Shortly after that thought I hear a loud knock at my back door. That's strange and a little worrisome. So I nervously go to my front door to see if there is really a delivery truck outside or if it's the boogie man. To my surprise I see two large cows and a calf in the yard and under the carport (that's NOT where they're supposed to be, by the way). I walk outside to get a better look at the mayhem and realize all four cows, the bull, and two of three calves have managed to break through a fence and are having a field day eating the lush, green St. Augustine grass; walking down the 4'-wide breezeway between my apartment and the main house (it was one of the calves that was "knocking loudly" on my back door from the breezeway); and really enjoying rubbing/scratching vigorously on the young tree trunks in the yard.
Accounting forms? <deep exhale....> The next hour was not spent at my desk but rather spent finding the broken fence where they escaped, opening gates so they could get back in, herding them around like squirrels until they all finally congregated together, being excited when they finally started moving toward the big open gate, being frustrated when they walked right past the gate into the midst of the new round hay bales that had just been delivered, even more frustrated when my arch nemesis cow starts running up the driveway instead of back toward the open gate, then running for my life around the house over uneven terrain in flip flops, being chased by stampeding cows anxiously salivating over the feed bucket I had just filled and was carrying in my arms to entice them back through the gate. Okay not "literally" a stampede, but it was a lot of beef excitedly running right at me.
Sweating in the Texas August heat, after a brush with death (not really, but that phrase sounded really good right there), I return to the air conditioning and my computer. To-do list? Did I have one of those for today? Well, I at least have a story to tell so let's knock out the blog post.
While you may not have cows stampeding to interfere with your day, we all have things that pop up and ruin our best laid plans. Sometimes those things are our poor decisions, sometimes they are things outside of our control. Like 7,700 pounds of beef cattle stampeding through the yard. The important thing to remember is that when the stampedes happen, or even when we make a bad choice in the day, we can always reset and start again. While I may not have achieved five things today, by the end of the day I will have achieved:
two tasks from my original list (this blog post and a well-planned schedule for the rest of the week, which includes rescheduling what I missed today)
a journal entry dissecting my thoughts and choices leading up to the to-do list fiasco and selecting a new thought model to take into tomorrow which will move me closer to keeping my commitments.
And these achievements, though not as many as intended, are still getting me closer to my goals.
Remember, friends, that life is a journey and the road is sometimes bumpy but always worth the travelling if we pay attention and learn from the bumps along the way.
As always, if you could use another set of eyes on your thoughts, don't hesitate to sign up for a 30-minute consultation on my Services page. Let's have a phone call and see if coaching is right for you. While you're at it, please take a second to sign up for my newsletter which will be launching this year. In it I will answer coaching questions that have been submitted and highlight blog posts from the page.
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