This is the final part of a series inspired by an infographic from The Coaching Tools Company titled 12 Ways to be Kind to Yourself.
9. Rushing makes everyone miserable. Do less and take your time.
There is a balance to be found between working slowly and rushing. I would say that both extremes are inefficient and keep you from achieving maximum productivity. On one end, you are working so slowly that you never reach the next task on the list because you don't finish the current task. This end also encompasses some perfectionism and procrastination. On the other end, you finish the task quickly but have made so many errors that you have to go back and correct mistakes which keeps you from moving on to the next task.
So how do you find that balance of the appropriate quantity of projects to undertake so that you don't feel overwhelmed or the need to rush?
It starts with thinking through a new project before committing to it. Produce a brief outline of the steps to complete the job and then estimate the amount of time you think it will take to do a good job (not a perfectionist job, but a good one) for each step. For those perfectionists out there, include a Quality Review step so that you can budget time for your "perfectionism"--just make sure you stick to the allotted time. Consider your deadline for the project - do you have enough time available to get all the steps done in addition to your other projects? While considering this, it is important to protect your "me time" whenever possible and not make a habit of sacrificing personal time to get another project done. Not to say you can't occasionally "be a team player" but making a habit of it will eventually lead to burn out and can affect your physical health, too, so guard against it.
If you can learn to be proactive and plan your time better at the beginning--and stick to that plan--you'll find you'll have less need to rush and can produce at a higher level.
10. Gather a 'spark team' of people who think you're awesome!
This one has been a life saver for me in the last year having left a job that drained me of life and starting my own company. These big "leap of faith" actions in life seem to bring doubts and impostor syndrome feelings, pretty much at 9:30am every day, and my Spark Team has kept me sane and my head in the game. These people have encouraged me to not give up where many others tell me to quit. These people have drunk my Kool-Aid and believe in what I have to offer the world--even if it's out of the ordinary path of the 8-5 job. They believe in me and know I will succeed even if I have failures along the way. They don't sweat the failures, either - they tell me they have faith in me that I'll figure it out.
I don't know where I would be without my Spark Team. Actually, I do. I'd be sitting behind a desk in an office in between horribly long commutes, crying myself awake every morning, and on the road to an ordinary, unfulfilling life, not getting anywhere near my potential.
Find your Sparklers and let them bring out the best in you.
11. Stop worrying what others think. Instead ask, "What do I think?"
For me personally, this one goes right along with the Spark Team idea. I was not encouraged to chase my dreams by many people close to me and have often been told by some to just go get a desk job somewhere because it's easier. Someone close to me recently told me, "Not everyone is cut out to be the leader of a company." No joke, those words were spoken to my face by someone close to me. And let's not forget the longtime business owner who told me right after starting out on my new venture, "Yeah, talk to me in a year," in a cynical, unbelieving and somewhat patronizing tone. I should also add that I'd just met him at a networking event and he didn't know me from Adam (or Eve for that matter).
It was challenging early on to block out all the other opinions and be confident in my own opinion, but it's one of the best things I've done. I still have naysayers and I assume I always will because I'm doing something out of the ordinary that some people just don't understand. While it is difficult to be openly DIScouraged, I remind myself of the reasons I took this leap of faith and why I am committed to making it work.
I would like to clarify that this does not mean that I don't take advice from others. As any smart business owner does, I take advice from professionals who have proven successful in my own field and who have experienced the same situations I am going through. And I take advice and encouragement from my Spark Team who knows me on a deeper and personal level and will let me know if I'm straying from my core spiritual/emotional self.
Beyond that, it's just other people's opinions and they are free to have them. They are just thoughts circulating in other people's brains and often are based upon their own fears about their own lives. Their opinions do not affect me.
12. Stand up for yourself - if not you, then who will?
There is not a Disney Prince or Princess coming to rescue you.
WHAT?!?! Dreams shattered. But seriously, we are each responsible for the outcomes of our lives. Some of us are in fact lucky enough to have an amazing support system that may include some folks who will stand up for you. But those aren't guaranteed. And honestly, do you want to be the friend that always needs rescuing? Your friends might get tired after a while. So why not take full responsibility and stand up for yourself?
Let's find the courage to stand up for our beliefs and be able to explain why we believe them. Let's stand up for the decisions we make and take the consequences however they come. Let's take action to prove our value in our jobs or find new employers who DO value what we provide. If someone is behaving a certain way toward you that makes you uncomfortable, let's communicate openly with them and let them know it's not appreciated. In all of these examples, I advocate for taking action respectfully and courteously and from a place of trying to understand the other view.
There are times when having support makes a difference, but don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and to make changes to improve your life when necessary. It can be very liberating and empowering to know you have your own back.
So there you have it. 12 ways to be kind to yourself. These also work for being kind to others. Put them into practice and watch your life change.
As always, if you would like to be coached on these or other topics, don't hesitate to sign up for a free 30-minute consultation on my Services page. You can also sign up for my newsletter which will be launching this year in which I will answer coaching questions that have been submitted.
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