As I have been studying to be a better leader, I am beginning to understand the difference between technical solutions and adaptive change.  A technical solution is simple “a+b=c”. Adaptive change requires thoughtful probing and deeper analysis about underlying concerns which then can help make long-term meaningful change. 

In my situation, I thought I wanted a “simple solution” (how to negotiate) but instead, she helped me realize that a good negotiation couldn’t take place until we really addressed the systemic concerns of my company and role. 

Lacey was my guide, asking me questions that helped me see the underlying fears, concerns and frustrations that were hanging over me like a dark cloud.  Once I was able to identify these things I could start deciding how I wanted to address them.  Thanks to her help, my review evolved from an adversarial challenge to an on-going dialog.